For Married Couples: Solving Problems In Marriage

I was priviledged to witness a marriage ceremony in my church today. It has been a long time I witnessed it. It was a joyful and warm atmosphere indeed.The experience made me to cogitate about my nearest future(If Christ tarries). I will be releasing the secret of success in marriage as I learnt. The home can be likened to a garden. In the garden, you can find some weeds and thorns which are unwanted and are not supposed to be there. In a home,there may be some 'weeds' that should be removed. The 'weeds' can be likened to problems but it is the responsibility of the couple to remove them outright. It is only when you put sticks in fire that you will know the one that has a snake in it. Until you marry,your true nature may not manifest. Trouble in the home brings out your true character. May God grant you the grace to change the things you can change,the grace to accept the things you cannot change and the grace to differentiate between the two. The sources of trouble in the home are many. Lack of agreement between the man and woman. Remember that you are to complement your partner. Poor communication(the act of talking and listening to your spouse at a time). Communication might be verbal or non-verbal. It could be done with signs depending on the agreement. Money is another one. Some men are very stingy while some women are extravagant spenders. The marriage union should affect everything including your purse. If the joining is only on the bed and does not affect the purse,the union is incomplete. Temperance : The individual's peculiar way of doing things,which may be strange to the partner,should be accommodated provided it is not evil. That only makes him or her unique. There is the need to study each other. Some take hasty decisions without thinking twice or considering the spouse's feelings. This can cause much problem in the home. The woman should be allowed to contribute. In-laws. When in-laws are brought into the affairs of the family,they may cause confusion. They will want to influence every decision taken in the home. Some men respect their mothers more than their wives. It is very wrong. They are supposed to be 'one' with their wives. Infact,the wife should be 'preferred' to the mother. Quote me, I can prove it. The married couple may neglect the affairs of their families even in cases of death. Joblessness: When their is a shift and the woman becomes the breadwinner of the home,she may forget that she is to submit to the husband. The man may begin to treat the wife as a slave because he carters for the family. Infidelity: When a man is not satisfied with his wife,he begins to look outside. The problem may not be from the man or as a result of lack of self-control on the part of the man. One may be surprised to know that the wife is actually better 'all-round' than the so-called girlfriend. Some resort to pornography and masturbation as means of satisfaction. Sexual Relationship: There are some spouse that are not always available for the man either because they are not interested or to busy for them. They are guilty. Some look older than their grandmothers because they fail to take proper care of themselves in terms of hygiene. Some people cannot be pleased even if their spouse stay with them from morning till night. It is a shameful thing. Others include family background,level of education and so on. These problems could be abated if the right things are done. The willingness to compromise should be the attitude of the couple. In marriage,there should be no winner or losser because the people involved are 'one'. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it at the moment. The woman is to submit especially when the argument is too 'hot'. For men,you cannot win when you are wrong because a wise woman will bring up the issue when you are calm. Also,be free to say 'I am sorry' sincerely....To be continued.